Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Wide Awake

Often, I don't really care for the new pop sensations coming on offer maybe because I, like many others, can't hear anything we like. One shit load of disposable drivel and manufactured personalities is all they have to give us..

But once in a while something comes to you that knocks you off the pedestal. Well, not not exactly, but you get the drift. If you listen to this song by Kate Perry - Wide Awake - (search for it on you tube) and are not moved, your soul is probably dead or you've never experienced love and the inevitable heartbreak
Don't for one moment think that I consider this a timeless piece, but she sings with such conviction here that I'm finally no longer going to keep her at arm's length. She's now entered my book of venerables.

Why you ask?

Well for one thing, she's right. " I'm wide awake, yeah I was in the dark... " I mean, how could we not see it coming? The signs were clear.How did we allow ourselves to end up in so much pain? The many times he...and the glaring evidence...

The lyrics are ordinary to say it best, but straight to the heart.
When you sing from the heart, we tend to stand up and listen. We have your back. She does it with such deep seated intensity that I feel she knows my torments. I feel finally someone understands that I too am wide awake.She is closer to me than I could ever believe, maybe next  door.

Just what happens with heartache. You're wide awake; don't eat, don't sleep, afraid to go out. The memory of those places is too much. You start thinking about where you went wrong, you get angry, you grieve in an endless cycle. A  metamorphosis is taking place. What would you do to get her back. You call and hang up. You pray that he knows he's hurting you so badly inside that he'll come running to you  and declare eternal love...and it will be all good again.

"Trying to hold on."

Sometimes we wish we never have to go through this. It's real hell. But you've never lived until you've given everything.

In the song she's talking about letting go. Man, that is the hardest thing to ever do. Relationships are funny. Nothing goes into your body like an alien implant, or a new limb or you never grow a new body part nourished by any relationship. You're the same person. But lovely and important things lose their value when your loved one is gone. Places seem soulless without him. Music is empty without her singing that song. So how does this happen? Beats me. I'm just a poor fool hurting like hell inside.

Talking to someone about it never really helps either. Advice? Never works because you never take it. So don't waste people's time. Let your friends know your grief and ask that they don't talk too much about it but make the time to be there when you need them.
Time is all they can offer you.

I think most people believe in letting it out. Crying sometimes. It just makes you sadder, not better. Maybe it works for you, who knows?

" I'm falling from cloud 9 "

Time is the healer. But it's murder if you can make it through the day! That gut wrenching feeling never really goes away...But time really is a healer.I guess that's one of the reasons it never goes backward! I'd die if I repeat that ordeal again.

Surely, you're not going to ask me for advice! I have none to give. Just like you I didn't listen to any. So what can I tell you? NOTHING. I was writing about this song, remember?

I actually count the days I survive on my own. I become proud of my one month...six months.

"You know I'm letting go..."  

It's always of some comfort when you know for sure someone else knows your emotional wretchedness.

This song at least tells me there are others like me.   

I finally think I can let go.